New path

 Its being a longgggg time,

Im back for some message that i would like to deliver in my blog for no reason. its lengthy and just like a pile of water in bucket, hmm. I'm afraid that i might forgot because its just feels like it is a reminder for me in the future, in case one day things might go wrong and i will be looking the answer from my blog.

Previously, I learnt that loving myself is to keep myself away from harmful people and society, learn to take care of myself and love it dearly. Its fun! Sebabkan tu juga buat pertama kalinya berat badan aku mencecah 58kg, see how happy am i. Alhamdulillah thank you Allah untuk 3 tahun kebelakangan ni aku betul-betul menikmati hidup.

But since 4 month ago, ntah macam mana tiba-tiba je theres someone DM me on facebook asked 'would you be my wife?' and i said "YES!". Macam tiberrr je so desperado sangatkah aku? Nope. Sunyi? Not really. Frust sebab crush dah kawen? Adala sikit, eh! But I though its okey untuk beri peluang pada hati aku dan pada dia juga maybe. Kalau tak, sampai bila aku nak forever alone macam ni kan even semua ex aku pun dah masing-masing bahagia berpasangan. Macam menyedihkan je bunyi hahaha. Tak!

He just 26y/o but he is so caring, he told me a loooot of nice things. He told me all the good qualities that I possessed and all and all, somehow it make me feel really emotional. As a woman, benda yang paling penting ialah kita dihargai.  I always worried, wondering if I only need to show my best side to him. But then, I realized that I want to be happy. I want to be comfortable with myself. So I learned to let my personality slide through the relationship regardless of being perfect all the time.

I've been through quite a lot but its not the matter for him. Its not easy mencari yang betul-betul menghargai dan terima kita seadanya. He skip all the typical process and bring for the next level which is terus informed his family and he promised to tie the knot. Since then, aku hanya tunggu dia balik Malaysia je.

Now I understand, this kind of things..... One you understand the mechanism, you accept that changes will always happen in your life, its either you want it or not, its maybe something that is too mendadak and happen unexpectedly, you are actually allowing yourself to grow up. 

let's start over. Dah lama tak dealing with term merajuk, memujuk, mengalah and cemburu. its not something new. it is called "welcome home/hey you've returned!" hahaha.